Sunday, July 20, 2008

SL Relay for Life 2008: After

I kept a journal throughout my mother's illness (and still add to it sometimes). I will excerpt from it here with pics of the quiet builds and RFL grounds that I rode through with Lunar when it was all over...

"At 11:30 am today, my mother told me she has Stage III breast cancer and it is aggressive. How ironic since it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month...She's so weirdly upbeat, but that's a good thing, isn't it? When I got off the phone with her, I jumped up and ran out of my office. I had to get outside. I just couldn't think. Everything was a swirl...""She told me that her hair is falling out when she combs her hair now. She says she has lost quite a bit of it in the back...'This bothers me more than the cancer,' she said, and told me that she asked my brother's friend to come over and shave it all off. 'I tried to hold off on doing it so I could have my hair as long as I could, but I think it'll be easier, you know?'""R. told me that he might have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, stage III, possibly IV...I didn't know what to say except to try and offer comfort, but at one point his pain was so palpable that I thought I'd start crying again. Like my mom, I love and care about him. Why is this happening to people I love right now?"
"She told me today that the docs couldn't feel the lump or really even detect it and are amazed. After only about a month of treatment. My aunt once asked me, 'So what do you believe?' and I told her 'That I am certain there is a God.' It's things like this that make me even more certain of this undeniable fact."
"Today is my mom's last treatment...I thought about how lucky she has been, but then I think it was still cancer. Her being so upbeat and things having gone so well has masked the insidiousness of what she has in a way. I have lost others in my life to this. I know it kills. It's a prickly fear that gets under your skin and never quite goes away..."
My mom is now in remission and is a patient navigator for other cancer patients, meaning that she is there to help "hold their hand" through the treatment process. I really like the idea that she is using her experience to help others get through theirs. Thank you for being so brave. I know it was so hard and even harder for you, but your being able to laugh made us be able to as well...

1 comment:

PacketRat said...

Thank you for sharing, it was very touching and made me think.