Thoughts About RPing

Last night got me thinking. In RL, I am a published writer. Outside of immersing myself in the characters I create and their worlds, I have never had any experience with roleplaying--whether online or traditional like D&D. It wasn't until I came inworld that I thought I would try, thinking it would be fun. For a little over a year now, I have been a citizen of Caledon. Is that RP? It doesn't have rules notecards or weapons systems or anything like that, but for the most part yes, it is. As a Caledonian, you take on a persona of a resident of a re-imagined "polite" Victorian era, whether you are peerage, merchant, Steampunk, or any other assorted "character" you can dream up. In New Toulouse, I speak and behave just like a 1920s flapper.

When I decided to give RPing in Toxian and CoLA a try, it is like I knew what to expect from being diligent and actually reading the rules and notecards, yet didn't know quite what to do when I got there. Hell, after 2 weeks of visiting both, I still don't to some extent. Although I can write, I'm not used to essentially describing everything that we are doing and when you're new and alone somewhere like that, where do you even start? Especially when it is so divided by factions.

I remember when I first started in Caledon--the confusion, the ignorance, the fear of saying or doing something idiotic...it was all very intimidating, but look at me now. But at least there, someone's not going to pull the trigger because you said you noticed them. These cities are dark RP. It's a bad place with bad people and bad things happen. I knew that going in. I find myself having to truly think like the RL city girl I am, something I haven't done in a long time inworld. The adjustment has been hard to make. I wanted a different experience inworld, and I sure am getting it. Things I have found out:

1. I can shoot a gun, but no...I decided that since I like and am familiar with melee fighting and since I'm an angel, I think my character should use a sword. However, inworld being glitchy and rezzing it in my crotch or not at all defeats the purpose.
2. Should I not respond when confronted negatively? Although I am of a "nothing" level? I shouldn't pay attention to levels and names as I'm not supposed to know that anyway. I am no jerk, but I have to be willing to deal with the result of that.
3. I hate not knowing and feeling stupid because I don't know exactly a) what's going on and b) exactly how to use the weapons system. I have been trying to observe and learn rather than just jumping in.
4. Can lag, server issues, and fighting co-exist? Do I need to be noncom more often in a combat sim just because my computer and inworld itself won't keep up? How is that perceived?
5. I've got a way with words and can tell a great story if given the chance, but I am unsure still during RP (see #2 and #3)
6. Defeat doesn't bother me. As my friend Tele says, "A warrior tastes dirt many times and gets up again anyway."
7. I am out of practice and need to train again.
8. I like it despite it all, and keep going back and trying anyway.