Out on the Water

I am still kind of reeling from the announcement the other night. Members of our community are so distraught, depressed, upset, lost-feeling, uprooted. It is such a sadness involved. Des (Caledon), Tenk (Babbage), and Selena (Winterfell) have kindly offered to take us in. After all, we have to go somewhere and not everyone's comfortable roaming the world like me. Even if it is a virtual community, it is still a community and that loss has a visceral feel to it. I thought I'd take to the waters, and brought Phin, who was brave enough to go along...

I named her the "Zephyr Too" after one of my original sailboats that I used to take out on the Firth of Caledon. The Blake Sea is much bigger and so interesting to sail on. I find it pretty calming just being out there, hearing the water, watching the planes go overhead, and other vessels going by. At one point, I dropped the anchor and we just talked. It felt good. It'll be OK...

What Now?

It has been 8 years since I have been without a home in a community. First, there was Caledon. Then Steelhead. When I first started SL I roamed the world more and explored. Even after I became more active in the Steamlands, I still explored. But there was something nice about being a part of something. Familiarity. Home.

I've always maintained a little mainland lot, as I've always had a premium membership and yes, I know that I have Raglan, but I am not a tiny 100% of the time. If anything, I can participate there more now.

I suppose I've been given a new outlook of sorts...to think about the things I enjoy inworld. Meet new folks. Take up old things I liked--like sailing again. That's me on my brand new Loonetta sailboat. Who knows what I'll get into next?

See y'all on the grid...

Farewell Steelhead

At tonight's Steelhead town meeting, Lunar announced that due to RL circumstances he will be closing all of Steelhead's sims by the end of this month...

I had seen this coming. Knew it. But it still didn't make hearing it any easier. I walked back to Harborside as I have done after meetings for years...

I have spoken so many times of the ephemerality of SL. This was my virtual home. This was where I came back to when I returned. So many years. So many memories. I took down everything and afterwards, just sat on a box at Laval Point with a pic of my original home on it. I just wanted to sit there for a while...

I know it was a very hard decision for Lunar to close down and by default, close a community. I stood and watched one of my most favorite things in Steelhead: the sun rising from off of the bridge.

Farewell Steelhead.

Reflection on RFL 2015

I ran my first RFL of SL in 2008, doing the caregiver lap. I felt it was important to give back and be a part of something to help raise money to fight against cancer, something that has affected so many that I love and care about first-hand...

This year I lit my luminarias at our campsite, thinking of Uncle Jack, Uncle John, Aunt Rose, and Bev, and also thought of my SL friends Nix Sands, Denver Hax, and Soliel Snook--all who lost their fights. I lit one at the ACS inworld HQ sim for Robert, who is still fighting. I thought of Denise, who is in remission, and most of all...

The reason I even came into SL and the reason why I relay... 

This is my mom. She has been in remission for 7 years now, which has allowed her to not only meet her first grandchild (my 4-year old son), but also her second...my 5 month old son, and in a few months she will meet a third (my niece). There was a time I was scared this would never happen, but look! It did! It is touching to me that so many out there give and care and participated in this inworld, and there's a possibility that some day, cancer doesn't have to affect any of us. My team, the Steelhead Salmons, raised $1,212 and SL's total amount raised was L$65,848,115--$263,392!! Thank you all so much.

 

RFL of SL 2015 Recap

It was RFL of SL weekend...

I tried to make it around this year, but had to give up after one too many crashes and returns to the Steelhead campsite...

I did cheer folks on and come in for the Luminaria ceremony, and finally made my way through when everything was over...

 

There were some really special things to see like Luna Barak's build in RFL Pledge...

And Beq Janus' star-filled one in RFL Stars...

And oh...be still my tiny squirrel waffle-loving heart! GIANT WAFFLE TOWERS! 

RFL of SL 2015: The Mysterious Egg

There was a huge mysterious egg at the campsite next door to Steelhead's at RFL of SL. What would it do?

It hatched dreams! 

Musings on a Life Inworld

Yes, here I am chilling at home with Phin after the Steelhead meeting. I am always glad to see him. We've been talking about doing some kind of podcast with our musings about life in a digital world. Who knows?

Earlier, I had watched a Dr. Phil episode. I don't normally watch, but today's was about a young guy who had a gaming addiction (looked like Call of Duty despite the blurring). It started out with Dr Phil in Second Life, custom avatar and all. I braced myself for the usual negativity, but Dr. Phil seemed to be enjoying himself, exploring, flying, trying new things. SL was featured only in the beginning and an end segment, where Linden Labs CEO Ebbe Altberg was talking about its positive benefits. Dr. Phil himself never condemned SL or video games, only the addictive behaviors that sometimes result.

Many of us have been there. When I first came to SL in 2007, I was reeling from my mom having cancer. It was a place of quiet for me in a way. I wanted to explore and build and be left alone. Then I found the Steamlands communities. I lost a job and then really got kind of sucked in. In hindsight, I was depressed and probably spent way more time inworld then than I would remotely be comfortable with now. It was an escape. Between the birth of my son in 2011 and a glitchy computer, I was away for years and came in very infrequently for special events and to talk to friends. Last year, I returned, promising myself the following: No obligations. NONE. No building. No designing. No nothing to keep me inworld. Just enjoy and slip in and out at will.

I have found a balance now in my real life and my digital one. I didn't feel the need for the type of validation that being inworld can be so seductive in providing. I have seen it so many times: how one's avatar seems more authoritative, more popular, more beautiful, more accomplished. How for some, they crave the attention. For me, I know that SL had inspired me to go to grad school. I even put it on my admissions essay. SL inspired my creativity. That it could be a place of healing and discovery. That I have made great, interesting, intelligent friends that I count among my RL ones. That if it all went away tomorrow, I have had an incredible, unforgettable experience within it.

There's a very important thing to remember as our digital lives become more evolved: It is a complement to your real life. How will you make it work for yours?