Musings on a Life Inworld

Yes, here I am chilling at home with Phin after the Steelhead meeting. I am always glad to see him. We've been talking about doing some kind of podcast with our musings about life in a digital world. Who knows?

Earlier, I had watched a Dr. Phil episode. I don't normally watch, but today's was about a young guy who had a gaming addiction (looked like Call of Duty despite the blurring). It started out with Dr Phil in Second Life, custom avatar and all. I braced myself for the usual negativity, but Dr. Phil seemed to be enjoying himself, exploring, flying, trying new things. SL was featured only in the beginning and an end segment, where Linden Labs CEO Ebbe Altberg was talking about its positive benefits. Dr. Phil himself never condemned SL or video games, only the addictive behaviors that sometimes result.

Many of us have been there. When I first came to SL in 2007, I was reeling from my mom having cancer. It was a place of quiet for me in a way. I wanted to explore and build and be left alone. Then I found the Steamlands communities. I lost a job and then really got kind of sucked in. In hindsight, I was depressed and probably spent way more time inworld then than I would remotely be comfortable with now. It was an escape. Between the birth of my son in 2011 and a glitchy computer, I was away for years and came in very infrequently for special events and to talk to friends. Last year, I returned, promising myself the following: No obligations. NONE. No building. No designing. No nothing to keep me inworld. Just enjoy and slip in and out at will.

I have found a balance now in my real life and my digital one. I didn't feel the need for the type of validation that being inworld can be so seductive in providing. I have seen it so many times: how one's avatar seems more authoritative, more popular, more beautiful, more accomplished. How for some, they crave the attention. For me, I know that SL had inspired me to go to grad school. I even put it on my admissions essay. SL inspired my creativity. That it could be a place of healing and discovery. That I have made great, interesting, intelligent friends that I count among my RL ones. That if it all went away tomorrow, I have had an incredible, unforgettable experience within it.

There's a very important thing to remember as our digital lives become more evolved: It is a complement to your real life. How will you make it work for yours?

Spring is in the Air

I've been away from SL for a bit. I've been lucky if I'm in more than 2X a week. A lot has been going on in my RL and frankly, I really needed the break. I always come in to attend Steelhead town meetings on Tuesdays and tend to Steelhead things such as building the new Embassy in Winterfell...
As I stated in my last post, I had become disillusioned and disappointed of a sorts inworld. We grow as our virtual selves, and creatively I felt empty, drained and unproductive. My SL started to feel like a shell of itself. I have been enjoying being in Aion with my RL husband and best friends, but I realized that I really missed my friends in SL too...And they told me that they have been missing me a lot as well, which truly touched me...Even my buddy Newbe has returned to SL with a new outlook after a long hiatus. Bit by bit, I have been making small steps towards coming back and even felt inspired to create this:It is spring after all. A time of new things. Change in so many ways. I can feel it...I'll be back.

Elle's Avatar Influences

Zoe and I had a big discussion about influences for our avatars yesterday and I promised I'd post mine too. I joked that the two of us had similar ones given our love of beautiful, curvy bombshells such as Raquel Welch and Sophia Loren:

The gorgeous Dorothy Dandridge was a big influence on my look as well...

Then of course, there is...

SL and Positivity

So many times when SL is discussed, negative aspects of it are often mentioned. Whether it's a shaky infrastructure or the latest resident rebellion or bad publicity of the moment, it makes you sometimes wonder why folks are even bothering to continue to be inworld at all? When trying to describe SL to others who aren't involved in it, I find that I tend to think of the good things about it and how it's helped me in my RL:

It's made me even better at Photoshop.
I was a graphic designer for years, but the things I've created inworld have challenged my skills in PS and helped me to become better at it.

I've met and made friends with some very interesting people from all over the world.
If I walked away from SL right now, I know that I have some positive, encouraging friends that I'd be happy to count now as RL ones as well.

It makes conversations about difficult topics easy to have.
Often in RL, we might feel reluctant about bringing up difficult subjects due to a feeling of being judged, embarrassed, or retribution of some sort. Due to our relative anonymity inworld, it just feels easier to more freely discuss hard topics. Technology like this has the power to help us understand each other better...not drive us apart.

Creativity inworld spurs/inspires my creativity in RL.
I find that building and creating inworld inspires my writing and artwork in RL. Being surrounded by so much inventiveness gets me going!

The altruism that others exhibit is often amazing.
My experience over and over again in SL has always been that people are more than willing to explain, give, and share with one another and their inworld community. Can you imagine if more or us behaved like that in RL too?

I feel more "plugged in" tech-wise.
I've always had a love of all things tech. My involvement with SL has made me more aware of things trend-wise in that regard, and not in a bad way.

Learning about yourself and what you're capable of inworld can be transferred to RL if you are open to it.
I think a lot about using the lessons I learn inworld about myself to benefit RL me. Why not use the positive aspects of SL you for RL you and make it work for the positive?!

It's can be absolutely fun-filled.
In the end, SL can be just plain fun and I still see it as a big world filled with interesting places to explore and learn.

So, what has SL done positively for YOU?

In a Mood

Lately, I have been in a mood where I don't want to work inworld. I still love SL and being in it, but I've just been feeling a bit...tired and unmotivated. I just want quiet, to explore, to contribute my talents in a good way to the Steelhead community and to have meaningful conversations inworld with those I care about.

All commissions will be finished...thank you so much for your patience regarding them. Not shirking anything at all, but I just need this time for myself for a moment inworld and I'll be back to business as normal.

Going Into a New Year...

Going into this new year full of possibilities, these words from Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself" came to mind:

I exist as I am, that is enough.

If no other in the world be aware as I sit content,

And if each and all be aware I sit content...

One world is aware, and by far the largest to me,

and that is myself...

And whether I come to my own today or in ten thousand

or ten million years,

I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness,

I can wait.

A very happy New Year's to you and yours...

Well, It's a Wrap...

The Rezzable Garden of NPIRL Delights officially closed tonight. I stood on my skyplat reading and responding as the group and Gardeners shared their thoughts and spread the love. I know that for me--and I think I can speak for Kheph too on this one--my sending Bettina the proposal for the Tower was one of the best things I've done while in SL.

It has been an incredible, special experience for me to be a part of this and to have helped to create and be a part of something that so many have enjoyed. I've made new friends such as Madcow, Eshi, and Jieux and have been so inspired by the works of my fellow Gardeners. Something's shifted in me. I've always been very creative inworld, but I want to expand...do different things. Do more! Truly explore the creativity that I originally came into Second Life to do. The inspiration that I feel inworld goes into my RL art and writing as well...it has been such a positive thing that way.

I don't know what my hands will bring forth next. You'll just have to watch this steampunk brass kitty to see...

Of Building and Inspiration

I sat perched on my favorite place to sit on the Tower, the hand, and just thought about the past few days. When I submitted the proposal to Bettina for the Rezzable Garden, I took a chance. Who knew me as a builder? Who knew Kheph as one beyond his inventions? But all that I knew is that I thought the two of us could create something beautiful together. My general artistic concept was "aethereal steampunk" as I saw a delicate tower of oxidized copper in the sky...
When I saw some of the names already selected, I was like "Oh hell" and a bit of fear--alright sheer panic-- actually set in, which was unfounded as my fellow Gardeners have been nothing but supportive and wonderful. For two weeks and countless hours we were busy building, usually Kheph during the day and me during the wee hours of the night. Tweaking textures. Replacing pieces. Trusting each other with mod rights and each other's work. Give and take. Pushing each other creatively as we have for months now in other things we do together. And when we stepped back finally, we couldn't believe ourselves. To have the Tower be as well-received as it is has been an absolute surprise and both Kheph and I are amazed and thrilled at how much folks love it.
Meet Frank. Being able to create is highly valued in our world and that's an ability I want to be able to share with others, so I gave Phin a building lesson and told him "Build me a cat. See it. See the shapes of it. Don't worry about what others will think of it. GO." It was the first time he has ever done anything like this and that night, it's like something clicked inside of him. This experience with the Garden is wonderful...and being able to pass on that inspiration is part of what being inworld is all about...